Friday Pound Plunge update

As I am sitting here on my new Balance Ball while on the computer, thought I'd do a Pound Plunge update.
Tuesday was the 1st time I met my teammates for the Pound Plunge. 2 of the other women are in nursing school. We met with our trainer and started off with a mile around the track. I am getting over an upper respiratory something so I was out of breath pretty quickly. I held on and ran it in about 8 mins. Since the challenge this week was cycling, we got on the bikes so everyone could get used to how they worked. I have been to quite a few cycling classes so I knew what to expect. After our hour of group was over I got on the elliptical for 20 more mins. It's hard to go home once you are already there, just keep on keeping on.
I worked out Wednesday by myself. I did cardio and arms and resisted the urge to weigh myself. Makes more sense to stick to the mandatory 1x week weigh in. I did about 60 lunges and was beyond sore that night and the next day.
Thursday evening was the challenge. 1 of my teammates didn't show up but we were added a person so it got us back to 3 people. They set the bikes up in the gym. There were 12 teams, 3-4 people each. We would start at a 2 resistance and it would be upped by 2 clicks every 3 mins. You could change teammates every 5 mins. As long as someone was on the bike your team was still in. There was a miscommunication about how much to turn up the resistance. Long story short our team was turning it up too much each time and thus working much harder. After about 15 mins the trainer in charge started checking every ones bike and seeing that not everyone was going at the same rate. Our team was definitely higher. The trainer herself started turning each teams resistance up at that point. We were nearing 55 mins on the bike when she turned ours 3 clicks. It was the highest resistance and literally stopped the bike. My teammate tried to peddle, used all her weight, but the wheel would not budge. 10 seconds later, the trainer called us out! I was kind of ticked off, it was very obvious that we were at the last resistance while other teams still had 5-10 clicks left.
O'well, we made it to 54mins, and came in 7th place I believe. It was a huge workout and I felt good afterwards. Nothing like being part of a team and wanting to reach the goal together.
Next week is 4 different arm reps with a 10lb bar. Gotta get those arms in shape for tank top weather. Oh, and since last Saturday I lost 1 full lb.

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It was not me who went to the YMCA and weighed-in for the Pound Plunge. I don't totally want to lose weight. It certainly wasn't me who went out right after that with my awesome Mom's group to eat at On the Border. I did not eat all the chips I could along with most of my entree!
On Sunday night it was not me who put the kids in the shower and to bed early. Surely I didn't want some peace and quiet. I definitely didn't use the excuse of "Extra sleep helps you from getting sick" when my boys asked why. And it wasn't Benny who started puking at 5am this morning and still is. As a mother I would never suggest he lay down in bed next to me and get some rest so that I could sleep too!
So... what did you Not do?

Pound Plunge

I'm taking the Plunge!
At our YMCA we have a quarterly program that goes on. Think, Biggest Loser sort of. Those that sign-up are put into groups of 3-4 people. Each week you meet with your assigned trainer 2x I believe. They talk about goals, nutrition and make a plan. Each week there is a physical challenge for each group to complete. You also get together a few times to workout as a team. At the end of each week they post results of the challenge and which group lost the most % of weight. For instance, the last entire group lost 407lbs over their quarter.
I'm really excited and motivated. I enjoy working out mostly, but there are times I slack off or find excuses not to go. This way, I am part of a team and held much more accountable. I plan on blogging each week about my teams progress.
Official weigh-in is Saturday, but today I was about 158lbs.
Here is to losing some weight and getting healthier! Oh, and I don't wanna jiggle anymore! ; )

Tithing

Think about it:



(from )


The last few months Nathan and I have been going to church. Between kids, sickness and laziness, him more than I sometimes. However, we have been tithing faithfully. Even when I winced when I figured out the amount, even when I knew that money was all that was left for a certain bill. And you know what? We have money. We are provided for. We tithe so that the church can grow. We tithe so that more people can hear about Jesus. We tithe because God is in control of our finances. Although I am far from a perfect christian, I urge you to look at your finances and see if giving to God is something you can afford to NOT do?

A Decade in Review

I've seen this on a few blogs and thought it would be fun to join in.

I'm going to start with 1999, otherwise a lot wouldn't make sense.

1999- I left high school in early spring of 1999. I had terrible migraines and I was missing way too much school. I went through numerous tests, scans and meds. I enrolled in a correspondence home school program. I went to my boyfriend's senior prom held at the Carolina Panther's stadium. My 16th birthday was June 20th. Sometime around early June I was reunited with an older friend, Mic, and a few months later we were engaged and I was pregnant. We got married Nov 29th, 1999.
2000- Mic got out of the army in February. We moved to Charlotte. I gave birth to Seth on May 3rd. We moved to Beaumont, TX in July. I found out I was pregnant again in December.
2001- We moved back home to Charlotte in March. My Pawdaddy (mother's father) died suddenly from a cut on his head that wouldn't stop bleeding. Most likely caused by alcoholism. Joshua was born August 20th on my parents anniversary. We moved to Huntersville, NC a week later. We lived there for a little over a year. I worked at my church's daycare and loved it!
2002- I dabbled in Graphic Design and I loved it. My best friend Jessica and I took a road trip to Nashville and had a load of fun. The day after Thanksgiving we moved back to Beaumont, TX. I was very sad to be leaving my family. It was the last time I saw my father alive.
2003- My mom and Jessica took a road trip down to see us in Texas. The day they left I found out I was pregnant again. I was sure it would be a girl. My dad died on April 27th,just a few hours after I got there. He had complications from alcoholism, though if there had been full disclosure and a different night Dr. the outcome might have been different. I stayed a few days and flew back home where no one seemed to care much. Benjamin was born September 4th and spent 10 days in the NICU. He came home on an apnoea machine for 3 months. He didn't have any spells at home and was taken off in December. I was filled with the Holy Spirit this year too.
2004- January 6th, after missing for 5 days my brother-in-law was found. He had committed suicide. It was a very hard time to say the least. The next couple months were a blur. I was trying hard to help both Mic and his mother Sonja to get through this time. Mic and Sonja decided they wanted to attend Rhema Bible School in Oklahoma and we began saving for it. We were taken for an Internet scam and lost it all. My mom offered us help to still make the move. Sonja was admitted into the hospital soon after that and was in a coma for days. God was surely the only one who brought her back from that. In July we moved to Broken Arrow, OK. Mic and Sonja both attended school and I worked at a daycare.
2005- Mic and I took a trip to Cozumel, Mexico. It was kind of a disaster. He had a horrible stomach flu the whole week, our credit card was denied because we were out of the country, and it was near impossible to make a phone call to fix it. Our relationship began to decline and in June it was was almost non-existent. On my birthday, June 20th, he asked me to leave, to go live with my mom and step-dad. He had problems to fix and didn't want me around. I was naive and scared and I did. 2 weeks later I left and moved to NJ with my mom and Mike. Once I was gone I was able to look back and realize what an unhealthy relationship I was in. Control issues, money addictions, unhealed guilt, it was just sad. I found out our marriage had never been legal. (a much longer story I won't go into now) I decided to move on with mine and the kids life. In October I joined eHarmony.com. I was matched with Nathan in just a few days and it truly was a blessing! He began to visit us almost every weekend. He drove 5 hours each way for almost 8 months. We had a deep connection and both knew God had his hand in it.
2006- My ex-MIL Sonja, whom I loved, passed away in April. Nathan was medically discharged from the Army in May. We had a wonderful relationship but he was moving across the country back to Idaho. I was scared and silly enough to break-up with him but came to my senses just a month later. In July the boys and I joined him in Idaho. We were engaged a few months later. I was back to working at a daycare and pretty much loving life.
2007- We decided against a big wedding and had a small one February 17th. That would be the night Miss Lizzie was conceived. I found out about 2 weeks later I was pregnant. It was quite a shock, but we were thrilled. We bought our 1st house in April. Elizabeth made her way into the world October 29th. My best friend Jessica also got married to a man named Nathan on September 29th. The rest of the year was spent just loving life as a family of 6.
2008- I was a stay-at-home mom and not a lot was going on. A few trips up to Clarkston where Nathan's family lived. A summer trip to TN and NC to see family and friends. Lizzie had her 1st birthday party. My mom and Mike moved here from NJ. They lived right down the street. That was truly a prayer answered.
2009- The beginning of the year was pretty normal and boring. My mom and Mike moved in with us during the summer. It was nice to be together and share expenses. My dear friend Suzy passed away in July. She was 26 years young and was battling anorexia and bulimia. I miss her so much! Both Nathan and I had a hard time this year with depression. He had it first, then mine set in right as his lifted. Thank you God for getting us through that! We started attending a Spirit-filled church that is just awesome! Nathan changed his life around and started living completely for God. Not that he was so far gone, but now he is fully living each day to serve Him. He has been an example for me and others. I am on way, God is holding my hand and leading me back to Him. Christmas and New Years were wonderful. We spent them with our loved ones and are truly thankful for the BLESSED life God has given us.

I obviously forgot or left out certain things, but that pretty much sums it up. What a busy, busy decade! Here is to a calmer 10 years ahead of us!

Focus on GOD not satan

I've never been one to give the devil much credit. God already won, what's to fear of him? Last night I went to a conference meeting at a new church. A friend of the family's was in from S.C. and spoke.
Wow.... what a lesson to be learned. I wish I had written down what was being said, but long story short:
God gave us all the power, each and everyone of us. Not satan. I think he's in Hell, where there is no God. You really think he can bother each and every one of us each day?
I don't think so. "If God be for you, who then can be against you?"
We make poor decisions, our flesh likes to sin.... we need to take the credit for our mistakes or shortcomings.... bad days and poor attitudes. A mere fallen angel has nothing to do with it.
Satan has no power over Jesus because he didn't sin, and if we live in Jesus and Jesus lives in us, Satan has no power over us. So let's stop giving him credit, and give the Glory to GOD!
P.S. I never said I was a good writer.... it's hard for me to type what I'm thinking/feeling so please bare with my choppy paragraphs.

Jesus is the real Superhero

Ya know, I'm really not feeling Halloween this year. Each year I enjoy it less and less. It's so hard to get away from stero-typical ghouls and goblins.
Our kids have been raised from the get go that Halloween itself isn't a Godly holiday. We do let them celebrate, Fall Festival that is. I won't allow credit to the devil, or satan, or any other bad spirit or demon.
The kids are allowed to dress-up, only as good guys. Instead of "trick or treat" at the door we say "Jesus loves you". We try and attend church functions where Jesus is still the SuperHero.
Anyway, I'm not totally excited about today, but, because my kids get such a big smile on their faces as they dawn costumes and eat loads of candy, I put a smile on too and remember that glory can be given to God at anytime....

Happy Birthday Lizzie!

2 years and 9.5 months ago:
Me: No, I don't want anymore kids. We are definitely done, 3 is enough.
God: Just you wait... he he he I have plans for you.


A few weeks later on our wedding night:
God: Ta-da....

About 3 weeks later:
Me: Nathan, we can't buy a smaller car (after I crashed my car), we need a mini-van.
Nathan: Are you pregnant?
Me: Ohhh Yeahhhh!

9.5 months later:
Dr.: It's a GIRL!


My little surprise is 2 today. Although her pregnancy was quite unexpected, I was thrilled from the very second I saw the 2 lines. We were a little worried when she was diagnosed with a single artery umbilical cord but after a few tests it was obvious she was a healthy, feisty little girl.
She was born by c-section at 7:55am. She came out squealing and daddy and I cried tears of JOY. She was in a hospital commercial the 2nd day of life and slept like an angel. They used her for more than planned since she was so good.
She has been such a delightful baby. No longer a true baby she is becoming such a little girl. My tomboy who has to wrestle and get dirty while wearing her 'pretties'. She absolutely adores her brothers and they her. She has a huge smile which can't help but make you return the grin as well. I thank God constantly that he gave me this gift.
She insists on showers over baths, water over any other drink, and enjoys jalapeno chips.
Happy Birthday to my sweet baby girl.... we LOVE you!

Desires

"Delight yourself in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart".
~ Psalm 37:4

But, what if you don't know what your heart desires? What if someone asks you what makes you happy and you can't answer? What if at age 16 your well-being became 2nd (or 3rd or 4th)... and you haven't gotten it back.

How do ask God for something you don't know?

A little crazy catch-up...

Wow, where do I start? Things are a bit nuts around here.

First off, my mom and step-dad have moved in with us. We all decided that instead of just 'getting by' if we all lived together for the summer we could all save up some money and create a bit of a nest egg. So 2 weekends ago they moved their belongings to storage and nestled into Lizzie's pink and green ladybug room. Its a little tight here, but worth it. My mom and I have one of those rare relationships. We are best friends and get along 99% of the time. We agree on just about everything and are totally capable of being in the same house together for months. I can even honestly say that Nathan and my mom get along just as well. He wouldn't dare complain about her as some men do about their Mother-in-laws... they get along as if he were her own son. (But I guess that would be kinda weird, lol)
Mom has been sentenced to a life of swing pushing, lol



Second, Nathan is job hunting. His job at CableOne is no longer. This just happened last week, after they moved in. Kind of a scary time right now to be looking for work. We are trusting in God to open the doors needed to provide for our family. Nathan has 2 offers on the table, both of which are a mental struggle for him. Please say a prayer that God leads him to the job that He has planned for us.
Father's Day was awesome here. The boys and Lizzie made a shirt with their hand prints. He wore it to church proudly. We went to a baseball game that evening and though it was cold, 48, windy and drizzly, it was a blast!


Baseball season is over tonight, and although it was fun... I am glad to have my evenings back. I will be happy to not have to rush dinner and wash uniforms last minute. The boys had an awesome season and next year I will have 3 boys on 3 separate teams, ouch! Watching them learn about the game and improving their skills has been great... they are so stinkin smart.

Lizzie is growing up so fast, as they all are. Her personality is really starting to shine. She smiles almost all the time but has a very quick temper. When she gets upset she does it fast. She is a thrower, she'll pick up any toy close by, including her car she rides on and chucks it, hard! She has a very feisty spirit. Thankfully, this never happens outside the home. At the store she is almost always an angel. Figures, lol She keeps us very busy and has been getting me up before the sun rises lately. She is getting ready to have her first haircut, really just a trim, even out her crazy curls just a bit. I never imagined I'd have a little girl, now I thank God for her each day. She's my girl!



Well now that I have typed this all out my life doesn't seem quite so nuts. I guess getting in a routine just helps. Summertime has been great so far, the weather has been nuts, but we are trying to enjoy each day.

Yesterday

Yesterday, Monday, was such a fun day for our family. It's not that we don't have many, but yesterday just seemed different.

First of all, it got up to 95 degrees for the 1st time this year. I was loving it! Finally some warm, bright sunshine!
Second, my mom and I ran some errands, including a second-hand children's clothing store. I always love going and most of Lizzie's clothes have come from there. I have store credit from taking in a lot of her outgrown clothing.
I racked up big! I have to brag about everything I got....
3 pair boys shorts
1 boys shirt
1 boys sandals (Birkenstock)
1 girls shoes
1 girls dress
1 girls shirt
2 women's shirts - All for $31.00!! Woohoo! Everyone loves a good deal!

Third, Seth and Joshua had their 1st baseball game. I packed a heavy diaper bag to keep Lizzie happy and coated everyone in sunscreen and out to the ball fields we went. The boys were super excited and played a great game. Although Joshua had trouble hitting off the machine, he executed perfect plays in the field. Seth was able to get on base twice and also, played well in the field. Nathan, my mom and step-dad joined the cheering section and although it was HOT! we all enjoyed ourselves.
Seth and Joshua at their game



Lizzie relaxing in the stroller

Then it was off to Nathan's work softball game. That's a lot of baseball in one day. Thankfully we were in the shade for this game and the boys had other kids to play with. Nathan's team was getting stomped, but made a heck of a comeback to almost win the game.
It was 10:15 before the house was silent, usually this would bug me since I love my quiet time at night, but last night I didn't mind so much. We had a wonderfully blessed family day together! I thank God for days like this!

Changeling

Last night Nathan and I watched Changeling together. It is a new movie, just out on pay-per-view with Angelina Jolie. Though we have had it recorded for a few weeks now, I have dreaded watching it. Nathan has bugged me for a while and last night I thought I'd be nice and watch it with him.

The description of the movie is about a single mother in the 1920's whose son goes missing and the police return a different little boy to her... expecting her to just take him in and pretend.

Without giving away the rest of the movie I was just so sad the entire movie. I'd say my greatest fear is one of my children disappearing and never knowing what happened to them.
Nathan has always given me a hard time about being too protective of the children. He still thinks that since he was able to run the neighborhood at their age and he was OK then the boys should be able to do the same. Its not true... these days I trust no one... and my kids are my responsibility. I don't care how nice your neighborhood is, or how mature you think your kids are, truth is there are sick people out there who do sick things.
After watching this movie and seeing/feeling how this mother feels as her son is missing gave Nathan the slightest bit of insight. He told me I am not over-protective and he's glad I keep the boys close by. I cover the boys in the blood every time they leave the house. I trust God to keep them safe and healthy.

This movie is tough to watch, I don't know if I even recommend anyone to watch it.

Is it weird?

My mother-in-law is coming into town tonight. I'm excited! I get to see her about every other month. She lives in Washington, about 5 hours away. Is it weird that I get excited? How many women out there love when their MIL comes to visit?

When I told someone at the gym today they were like, "Oh, I'm sorry."

I don't take for granted that her and I have a great relationship. I make sure to tell her how much I enjoy spending time with her... and she does the same with me. I have been blessed with 2 very loving, easy to get along with MIL's.

No one else in either of our families has had a family of 6 (besides her), so she knows how it feels and never judges if my tables are dusty or if my floor isn't swept. (Although I always clean right before she comes, its instinctive I think)
She does my dishes while she's here and helps make the meals. She doesn't get anxious when the kiddos are being loud or they have toys everywhere... she just offers them candy and tells them to hurry and eat it before dinner, LOL

Here's to great mother-in-laws... I hope one day I am one of them.

So many thoughts...

I have so many things right now on my mind. So many things I'd like to blog about, like my feelings about baby Kayleigh graduating to heaven, how this story and others are helping me be more patient with my own kids,(something I struggle with), how Nathan has made some positive changes and I am very proud of him, about a bizarre dream I had the other night in which I actually died,... but since I just got my computer back and I have 4 people in the house playing ball, its hard to find the time.
I will try to get them up this week... I would like to blog about everyday things... but sometimes its seems to trivial, especially when you look at what others are facing.

Seth is 9!

Seth's 9th birthday was yesterday. I can't believe how 9 years has gone by so fast. Yes, I know every mother says that, but it is true.

I was a very young 16 when I had him. Although I was married, at 16 you really have no idea how life is about to change. I was blessed enough to have the loving support of my family, friends and most of my church. (The youth pastor thought I should have an abortion or atleast give him up... that was NOT going to happen.)

I saw a midwife practice and loved them. I never felt judged and they were always very kind and caring. I was very comfortable with their laid back approach to giving birth. My pregnancy was textbook and I was induced at 42 weeks. All my friends showed up for his birth, even my friend who had college exams the next morning. My epidural was great, I pulled it out accidently and it was re-done. I was in labor for 8-9 hours and pushed for under 30mins. He was born at 4:19am... Not shabby for a 1st delivery. I think there were 6 people still right outside my door.

Seth was an awesome baby, hardly cried (once I learned about co-sleeping), nursed wonderfully and had a gorgeous smile. He crawled and walked early.
(I'm going to brag about him now, what mom doesn't brag about their child on their birthday?!)
He is so stinking smart. He is finishing his 1st year of ALP, which is an advanced learning class. It is a small class of 14 3rd graders from 4 different elementary schools. He is in 4th grade math and 5/6 grade reading. He amazes me everyday. He also loves sports and plays baseball, football and basketball. Above all this, he is so loving and has a caring heart. He accepted Christ into his heart almost 2 years ago. He's not afraid to shed a tear at a sad movie and has asked to help out families in need. I am very blessed, honored and proud to be his mother.

Here are some pictures from the past year.



His spring school potrait



At Uncle Chris's b-day party



This is his 'strike a pose' look



He won an award at school - and we were growing his hair out

10 things...

10 Things I Want to Do With My Kids This Year

10. Play outside in the warm rain this summer
9. Take them to Seattle to watch the Mariners play baseball
8. Go to a nursing home and let them read a story to someone
7. Take a professional family portrait and send pictures to our whole family
6. Have a backwards day where we do daily activities in reverse order, such as dessert for breakfast
5. Go to the water park that is in Northern Idaho
4. Camp out in the backyard, s'mores, hot dogs, the whole shebang
3. Have them pick out a toy to donate to a shelter, pick out food to donate at Thanksgiving, and help them remember how blessed we are.
2. Have a mud, cake, whipped cream, some sort of food fight.
1. Keep taking them to church and get them more involved with telling their neighborhood/school friends about God and salvation.

Sad people

I was on facebook this afternoon and saw an update from a high school acquaintance of mine. What I read shocked me, then saddened me. I don't know if this is Internet etiquette... but o'well... here is what they wrote...

"I just saw a shirt that said "Righteous Gangsta" with a guy praying, wearing all these chains...why can't people be Christians without shouting to the world that they're homies with Jesus?"

Isn't that so sad? I do not know if this person is saved and has a personal relationship with Jesus, but it sure doesn't sound like it. I can only imagine that people who say things as this are sad in their life. They must feel everyday that something is missing.
I love sports. I love wearing their logos and I love watching and cheering for them. But you can bet your butt I praise God the same way. I stand up, I sing, I clap, I dance... no team out there is more important than my God. I will wear His name, say His name, sing His name, cheer His name and be proud to do it.

Pray for Kayleigh

This little girl needs our prayers. After being born severely premature she has beaten many obstacles. She is 9 months old and if I'm not mistaken, her parents have yet to bring her home. She just had surgery, and though it was 1st thought successful, she is now having sudden, unexplainable complications. The Dr.s are now using the professional term for 'brain dead' Her parents are beyond heartbroken and cannot believe the recent turn of events. They love God and are trusting in Him right now.
We know God is bigger than a diagnosis. We know God performs miracles.
Can you please pray for this little girl and her family...

If you fly away tonight...

"I wanna tell you that I love you...."

That is what I said minutes before he breathed his last breathe.... I followed with....

"I will see you in Heaven daddy, I know you'll be there waiting..."

Then I kissed his forehead.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

My dad died way too soon in life for me. I wasn't ready. His body might have been, heck, even God might have been. But I wasn't. I was pregnant with his 4th grandchild, and he'd barely gotten to see his others. I was a moron and moved out of state and he missed precious months with Seth and Joshua.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"...If you fly away tonight, I wanna tell you that I'm sorry,

That I never told you, when we were face to face..."

I blamed myself for my dad's drinking once I hit about 16. Althought he was a stellar dad to me... everyone knew he drank alot. Once I became pregnant at the tender age of 16, him only 41, and 2 months later married, I wasn't a bit surprised that the drinking increased. I knew I was at fault.. If only I had been a better daughter, not gotten myself involved in such a frowned upon scandal.

I still often think this some days.... what would have happened had I been the daughter I should have been? Would he have missed out on the joy grandchildren brought to his heart?

Then... after he had gone to rehab and was apparently doing well... I up and move away? What the hell was I thinking? He had a great relationship with Seth, then 2 and Joshua, 1. But nooo, I followed my ex's advice and moved us 14 hours away to Texas. The heartbreak I know my dad felt is unthinkable. Saying goodbye to him in person the day after Thanksgiving was hard. My dad hadn't seen me cry in years, and I wasn't about to show him now. He left my house before he was forced to watch us leave in the moving truck.

That was the last time I saw my dad.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"...Your lying there in this hospital bed
Wont you open your eyes
And lets talk once again.

If you fly away tonight,
I wanna tell you that I love you.
I hope that you can hear me, I hope that you can feel me.

Well I've been here all night
And Im watching you
Breathe in and Breathe out
Is it really you or just a machine
Thats giving you life and
Making it seem
That there could be hope......"

When I arrived at the hospital (thanks to God providing me with an insanely cheap ticket) I studied all the monitors. Seemed to me he was doing just fine... all the numbers looked normal or so the machines made it seem. After a shocking explanation from the Dr...... he was brain dead. Kept alive only by the medicine and machines. Everytime his blood pressure crept or his heartrate sped up I thought he was coming back. He wasn't.... he was already on his way up...
I felt as though we were giving up... could he really hear us and was begging us not to let him go? Would he bounce back and become the husband, grandfather he truly wanted to be? I recited Psalm 118:17 over and over to him. 'Thou shall not die and go on and delcare the works of the Lord"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

I miss my dad. He was only 44 when he left this earth only to find divine healing. I struggle with understanding his sickness but I don't blame him one bit. He was my father, he cheered for me at softball games, he furnished and painted my life-size playhouse, he cheated as he raced me to the back fence.... I never lacked of his love or attention.

I remember him on this day and I thank God that I know I will see my dad once again in a place where no sorrow, sickness or sense of time exsists..... Heaven.

Till then..... I love you.

Essay of Love contest

My step-father Mike entered an essay contest for Valentine's Day (at my urging). It's for a hotel here, an extravagant hotel that has themed rooms, jacuzzis and an air of romance. They (the owners) believe very much that couples need a place to escape and be romantic together.
He was lucky enough to get into the Top 5. The winner of this 'love' essay contest gets a free night in any room and a dinner for 2. Please read his entry below and if you would, vote for him at this link
blog@anniversaryinn.com - ' Band of Love'

Here is his entry: (long but worth it)

Band of Love

Georgia slipped the band of gold around my finger, looked into my eyes and completed her vows. We were husband and wife.A week later, I sat in my chair, mindlessly watching television. I twirled the unfamiliar band of gold circling my ring finger. It was the first piece of jewelry I'd ever worn. It made me feel different.My life changed. I no longer thought of "me". I thought of "us". I had a wife. The band of gold proved it. From that day forward, people saw it and knew I was committed to another. It became a part of me. Whenever I sat idle, my right hand would reach to play with it. Other times, my left thumb would polish it - savoring the symbol of love.******************"Michael?" Georgia asked?I looked across our dining room table at her. Her brown eyes sparkled."What, Hun?""I'm pregnant." She smiled."You are? Are you sure?" I rose from my chair."Do you feel OK? Do you need anything?"I had an expectant mother to take care of."The doctor confirmed it today. And yes, I am OK. Now sit and finish your dinner.""But?" I stammered. "This calls for a toast. I'll get that bottle of champagne."I rushed from the table."Michael!" she reached for my hand. She rested her other hand on her stomach."I can't. The baby! Remember?"I stared at her and frowned. "Why."I paused. "Oh right! The baby! I forgot – no drinking.""Relax. I'm OK. Sit and finish your dinner."We sat and ate. Afterward, I reached across the table and held her left hand in mine. I looked into those sparkling brown eyes."Thank you, Hun. Thank you for wanting to be the mother of our children."I looked down at the table where I still held her hand. The flickering candle reflected off our bands of gold."I love you, future Mama."I lifted her hand and kissed her ring.******************"It hurts so bad!" Georgia screamed."Pant!" I screamed back. "Pant! Puff, puff, puff, pufffff!""Stop blowing in my face!" She yelled at me.Another contraction ripped through her body."Mrs. Smith!" the doctor said. "I need one more big push.""You can do it, Hun!"I held her hand, or rather; she gripped mine in a vice. I saw our hands. My fingers were white from the lack of circulation.The lights above the table reflected off our rings.******************"Look at her eyes, Michael! She's so alert." Georgia was in the recovery room. She cradled our little Vanessa in her left arm. I stroked Georgia's hair.My ring twinkled as her hair polished it."She's beautiful, Hun. Thank you."She looked up at me. "That wasn't so bad. I could do it again?"Tears streamed down my cheeks. "Honey, you mean you would go through this again? You had so much pain!""I want our dream of a girl and a boy."Her hand rested on the blankets warming our new daughter - the gold of her band accented by the white cloth.******************"Mr. Smith, meet your new son."The nurse smiled and placed him in my arms."Hi, Justin!" He cried and waved his tiny arms in response. I placed our new son in Georgia's arms."Thank you! Thank you so much!" I bent and kissed her.My left hand stroked her cheek. The gold band sparkled with her perspiration."I love you."******************We sat across the table from each other. A candle burned between us. Hushed voices from other tables filtered through my thoughts. I looked into those brown eyes, as I so often did."Happy anniversary, Georgia.""Happy anniversary, Michael.""Ten years! Can you believe it?""I hope the kids are OK.""Hun, they're fine. This is our night."I reached for her hand and held it in mine. Like the bands in a tree trunk, our skin had begun to show the wrinkles of life. The fire of the candle reflected off our rings, reminding me of a night long ago, when she smiled and said, "I'm pregnant."******************I sat on our sofa playing with my ring. I remembered forgetting to put it on after Georgia cleaned it one day. At work, I kept reaching for it with my thumb. I felt empty without it. I looked at Georgia's picture on the TV stand. I was alone. Our children were in their rooms, grieving in their own way. Georgia's urn rested on the credenza in the dining room. We'd brought her home from the service that afternoon. Her ring rested in my left palm. I had a decision to make."When do I take mine off?" I asked no one.I was afraid. If I took it off, would it mean the love we shared was gone? The band of gold stayed on my finger. When my thumb touched it, my thoughts drifted to past times and not to the future and the life we planned."When do I take it off?" I asked myself again.It was with me from the day we'd married more than nineteen years earlier. It'd been on my finger when I changed my children's diapers. When we took drives, my hand held the steering wheel. The ring reflected the sunshine. The day she took her last breath, I held her hand and the ring reflected the machines that had kept her alive. I reached behind my neck and undid the clasp of the gold chain.She'd given it to me on our first Christmas together.I threaded her ring onto it and started to put it back around my neck. I paused and put it down. The fingers of my right hand reached for my ring a final time. I twirled it around like old times and then slipped it off. I held it to the light. It was scratched and dented from the rigors of living. It joined Georgia's ring on the chain. My hand felt empty without its comforting weight, but the combined rings hanging around my neck soothed me - a reminder of our years together.******************Almost a year later, I stood with Ginny in a New York City court house. She took my hand and placed a new band of gold around my finger.The Justice of the Peace smiled."I pronounce you man and wife. Michael, you may now kiss the bride."Ginny slipped into my arms. Our lips met. I hugged her to me. On her shoulder, I saw my hand and the ring on my finger - a band of love.******************Ginny and I sat on our deck reading. I held my book in my right hand. My left hand rested on my lap. A sparkle caused me to blink. I looked down. The new band reflected the sun. Ginny looked up at me, "I love you.""Love you more.""Love you too."We played our game. She turned back to her book. I stared at my ring again. It meant more than marriage. Like life, it had a beginning and an end. I started one journey with Georgia."Until death do we part." we repeated - a beginning and an end.We followed the band of gold to her end."Gin?" She looked up from her book. "Yes?""I need to do something." She looked puzzled."What?" I reached up, unclasped my chain, and removed the two rings."Michael, what are you doing?""It's time to let go, Gin.""But they mean so much to you.""Yes they do, but it is time to move forward. It's like starting a new year. I need to let go of the old and enjoy the new. "She stood, walked over and sat in my lap. She wrapped her arms around me."I understand."I held up my left hand. "Look!"She stared at my hand. "What?""See how the sun reflects off it? I've been blessed to have you in my life. I have a new band of love, a new life, a new beginning, a new year and you. It's time to move forward with you."

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